Funny Things The Kids Say
January 2014
Lauren wanted to know if I could stain treat her stuffed Hello Kitty toy. I'd already washed it once, but whatever was on it's face didn't come clean. So, I asked her, "Why is Hello Kitty's face pink in the first place?" She sighed and said, "It's a long story."
June 2011
May 2011
Lauren had some trouble with a Leapster game and decided to switch it out for Finding Nemo. She said, "That game was detarded. I gonna play Mining Memo instead."
We have four new kittens at our house, and each child has claimed one for him/herself. Lauren went outside to find hers and bring him in for a little while. When she came back in she had this serious look on her face and said, "Mommy, Matt's kitten was pissing(hissing) at me."
Dec. 2010
Me: "Hey, Matt, Spike has one of your dinosaurs." Matt, chasing Spike: "Curse you, Perry the Poopy Dog!!!
Sept. 2010
Our lovely dishwasher has a bad habit of tilting out when the door is open and one or both racks are all the way out. When this happens, you can see the insulation across the top. Matt and Lauren were helping unload the dishwasher one afternoon when this happened. Matt saw the insulation and asked, "Mom, why did it's airbag deploy?"
Overheard from the back seat of the van - Zack: "Sprite is just fizzy water."
Oct. 2009
Zack and Matt went with me to get some gas for the lawnmower. The combination of darkness, a cracked and not-so-clean windshield, and a cruddy road in the middle of being repaved made for an inconsistent and unsteady drive. On the way home Zack said, "Mom, can't you drive any faster?" I said, "No, because I'm having a hard time seeing the road." He asked, "Well, can't you drive one speed?" I told him, "If you're gonna complain about my driving then you can stay home next time."
Sept. 2009
I took Matt to his Dr.'s appt., and when we got out of the van, I noticed the air was very stinky. I'm guessing it was the paper mill even thought it's a good 20+ miles away. I said, "P-U, it's really stinky out here." Matt said, "Well, it wasn't me. I didn't do it."
Since I teach seminary in the afternoons, my mom keeps the kids for me. I drop off the 2 little ones on my way out and the 2 big ones get off the bus and walk to my parents' house. On one of those days I let Matt ride in the front seat since it's only a 2-min. drive on a quiet dirt road. We're on our way when Matt sighs and says, "Mom, dis is da wife. " Riding in the front seat is apparently a big deal.
2008
Lauren had a really yucky diaper yesterday. She just woke up from her nap and was super wet. When I started changing her I found she was muddy, too. Zack came by about that time and said, "Now that's a poop float!". Yep, it was.
One day I said something about how I'd been awake since the crack of dawn. Zack asked, "Mommy, what's the crack of dong?"
October 2008
Zack has asked me several times who I'm voting for in the upcoming election. I guess this is a hot topic in kindergarten. He asked me again a few weeks ago and I told him I wasn't sure and I asked him who he was voting for. He said, "Well, it's not Barack Obama!"(pronounced perfectly). I asked, "Well, who then?" and he said, "John 'BaCain.' " I asked him why. He said, "Because he has a girl that follows him around and I want the first white girl to be in the white house."
