Once upon a time . . . .
I had nine chickens.
Then, the neighbor's dogs discovered my chickens.
And now I have none.
And they are minus one dog.
THE END.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Monday, December 20, 2010
Our 2010 Christmas Card
The Twelve Questions of Christmas
Answer all questions correctly to win the opportunity of a sleepover with the child of your choice!
1. The Smiths, in 2010, have
a. Traveled extensively overseas, including Portugal, Spain, Greece, and Italy.
b. Nearly made it as far as Birmingham.
c. Driven around the block.
2. The elder children have
a. Sometimes been encouraged to get off the couch.
b. Had a very good year at school.
c. Resisted all attempts to turn them into decent human beings.
3. The youngest children, Matthew and Lauren, have
a. Discovered exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
b. Started composing their third opera.
c. Eaten their weight in marshmallows.
4. Our dear daughter, Lauren, also known as ‘Princess Ruby’, has
a. Discovered how to mess up an entire room in 3 seconds or less.
b. Invented new and interesting ways of disposing of leftover chocolate.
c. Investigated interior decorating with permanent markers as a possible career.
5. The eldest child, Todd, has once again
a. Excelled at school, been voted Young American of the Year, and turned down yet another nomination for a Nobel Prize.
b. Maintained, to everyone’s surprise, an upright and warm stance.
c. Impressed everyone with his mad drum skills in his school’s marching band.
6. Zackery has spent the year
a. Treading the boards as a noted thespian.
b. Treading water.
c. Treading lightly in fear of his parents’ wrath.
7. Ian, the Father of the family, has
a. Shown himself to be the same boring, uninteresting, and unremittingly dull person he has always been.
b. Shown a devotion to all sports, in particular baseball, football, soccer, lacrosse, and deep-sea fishing.
c. Worked two jobs all year so his lovely wife could be the domestic goddess.
8. Miranda, otherwise known as “the domestic goddess”, has
a. Gotten heavily into tattoos and body piercing.
b. Finally started working on her college degree while managing a house and five other people.
c. Lounged about in satin pajamas eating grapes and drinking the occasional stiff gin.
9. In our spare time, we
a. Clean the bathroom.
b. Discuss post-Hegelian philosophy in German.
c. Kick each others butts in Band Hero.
10. Our house has
a. Been featured extensively in “Southern Living” magazine.
b. Not yet fallen down.
c. New and alarming cracks in the walls.
11. Our dog, Spike, has
a. Left plentiful blessings all over the front yard.
b. Joined the Salvation Army, thereby renouncing his title, and annoying the neighbors with his all-night timbrel playing.
c. Just farted.
12. Our hopes and wishes for the future include
a. An uninterrupted night’s sleep.
b. World peace or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
c. Your continued friendship.
We hope you enjoy this holiday season with your family and friends. Merry Christmas and best wishes for the New Year!!!
Love,
~The Smith Family~
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
What have you been up to?
Yes, I realize I'm a terrible blogger. I haven't posted anything in almost 2 months. I've thought about posting, taken pictures with the intent of updating the blog, but I never quite got around to it.
Other days I ask myself why I bother with it? Does anybody read this thing? Does anyone care what goes on in my neck of the woods?
Then I kindly remind myself that it doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not. I read it. I do this more for me than anyone else. This is my way of keeping a journal/scrapbook since I'm terrible at both.
So . . . here's the rundown of the last few weeks.
October found us finishing up football season, which means Todd is done with the marching band for this year . . . well, almost. The band marched in a couple of parades, but I'll get to that in a few.
We did a little trick-or-treating, and . . . . and . . . . and that's about it for the month of October.
Oh, and Matt's class went on a field trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch in Loxley.
Hmmmm . . . . November . . . . November came and went so fast. I think I missed it, except that I distinctly remember having ham and dressing in there somewhere. And pie. There might have been a piece of pie also.
I finished up my first college class and started another one. I'm hanging in there even though I may be 50 by the time I complete my degree.
My sister and I worked for our aunt for a couple of weeks to help get her house company ready in time for the holidays. Actually, we morphed into pack mules for about 2 weeks. My back was never so happy to see that job come to an end, and I realized I CAN'T juggle a job, school, and a family. (And I don't want to, either!) I really have to hand it to the moms who do manage all that, and more.
We're now in December, full-swing, and Christmas is only 12 days away. YIKES!!!
Remember the parades I mentioned? Todd was in Christmas parades two nights in a row.
We've never been to a night parade before, so it was really fun to see the floats and cars lit up with Christmas lights. We have enough candy to last us all year. Not that it will last us a year because I'll get tired of candy-crazed children and I'll end up trashing it before Valentine's Day.
I sold a few bows in a local craft festival and made a WHOPPING $17. Better luck next time, I guess. In the meantime, Lauren has enjoyed having her choice of bows to wear even though she doesn't leave them in her hair for very long.
Did I mention we had snow? Just a little tiny bit, but it snowed.
In December.
In Alabama.
This week is the last week of school before Christmas break, which I usually dread, but I'm actually looking forward to having more relaxed mornings. I can't say I'm looking forward to sleeping in because my kids don't know how to sleep in. It's a foreign concept around my house. If someone sleeps later than 7:00 I check them for fever because they must be sick.
Up next is the band Christmas concert, then Todd's class party, Matt's class party, Matt's field trip, and Zack's class party . . . in that order. Wheeeeeeeeeee . . . . . . are we having fun yet?
So, what have you been up to?
Other days I ask myself why I bother with it? Does anybody read this thing? Does anyone care what goes on in my neck of the woods?
Then I kindly remind myself that it doesn't matter if anyone reads it or not. I read it. I do this more for me than anyone else. This is my way of keeping a journal/scrapbook since I'm terrible at both.
So . . . here's the rundown of the last few weeks.
October found us finishing up football season, which means Todd is done with the marching band for this year . . . well, almost. The band marched in a couple of parades, but I'll get to that in a few.
We did a little trick-or-treating, and . . . . and . . . . and that's about it for the month of October.
Oh, and Matt's class went on a field trip to the corn maze and pumpkin patch in Loxley.
Hmmmm . . . . November . . . . November came and went so fast. I think I missed it, except that I distinctly remember having ham and dressing in there somewhere. And pie. There might have been a piece of pie also.
I finished up my first college class and started another one. I'm hanging in there even though I may be 50 by the time I complete my degree.
My sister and I worked for our aunt for a couple of weeks to help get her house company ready in time for the holidays. Actually, we morphed into pack mules for about 2 weeks. My back was never so happy to see that job come to an end, and I realized I CAN'T juggle a job, school, and a family. (And I don't want to, either!) I really have to hand it to the moms who do manage all that, and more.
We're now in December, full-swing, and Christmas is only 12 days away. YIKES!!!
Remember the parades I mentioned? Todd was in Christmas parades two nights in a row.
We've never been to a night parade before, so it was really fun to see the floats and cars lit up with Christmas lights. We have enough candy to last us all year. Not that it will last us a year because I'll get tired of candy-crazed children and I'll end up trashing it before Valentine's Day.
I sold a few bows in a local craft festival and made a WHOPPING $17. Better luck next time, I guess. In the meantime, Lauren has enjoyed having her choice of bows to wear even though she doesn't leave them in her hair for very long.
Did I mention we had snow? Just a little tiny bit, but it snowed.
In December.
In Alabama.
This week is the last week of school before Christmas break, which I usually dread, but I'm actually looking forward to having more relaxed mornings. I can't say I'm looking forward to sleeping in because my kids don't know how to sleep in. It's a foreign concept around my house. If someone sleeps later than 7:00 I check them for fever because they must be sick.
Up next is the band Christmas concert, then Todd's class party, Matt's class party, Matt's field trip, and Zack's class party . . . in that order. Wheeeeeeeeeee . . . . . . are we having fun yet?
So, what have you been up to?
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