The Twelve Questions of Christmas
Answer all questions correctly to win the opportunity of a sleepover with the child of your choice!
1. The Smiths, in 2010, have
a. Traveled extensively overseas, including Portugal, Spain, Greece, and Italy.
b. Nearly made it as far as Birmingham.
c. Driven around the block.
2. The elder children have
a. Sometimes been encouraged to get off the couch.
b. Had a very good year at school.
c. Resisted all attempts to turn them into decent human beings.
3. The youngest children, Matthew and Lauren, have
a. Discovered exactly how many licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.
b. Started composing their third opera.
c. Eaten their weight in marshmallows.
4. Our dear daughter, Lauren, also known as ‘Princess Ruby’, has
a. Discovered how to mess up an entire room in 3 seconds or less.
b. Invented new and interesting ways of disposing of leftover chocolate.
c. Investigated interior decorating with permanent markers as a possible career.
5. The eldest child, Todd, has once again
a. Excelled at school, been voted Young American of the Year, and turned down yet another nomination for a Nobel Prize.
b. Maintained, to everyone’s surprise, an upright and warm stance.
c. Impressed everyone with his mad drum skills in his school’s marching band.
6. Zackery has spent the year
a. Treading the boards as a noted thespian.
b. Treading water.
c. Treading lightly in fear of his parents’ wrath.
7. Ian, the Father of the family, has
a. Shown himself to be the same boring, uninteresting, and unremittingly dull person he has always been.
b. Shown a devotion to all sports, in particular baseball, football, soccer, lacrosse, and deep-sea fishing.
c. Worked two jobs all year so his lovely wife could be the domestic goddess.
8. Miranda, otherwise known as “the domestic goddess”, has
a. Gotten heavily into tattoos and body piercing.
b. Finally started working on her college degree while managing a house and five other people.
c. Lounged about in satin pajamas eating grapes and drinking the occasional stiff gin.
9. In our spare time, we
a. Clean the bathroom.
b. Discuss post-Hegelian philosophy in German.
c. Kick each others butts in Band Hero.
10. Our house has
a. Been featured extensively in “Southern Living” magazine.
b. Not yet fallen down.
c. New and alarming cracks in the walls.
11. Our dog, Spike, has
a. Left plentiful blessings all over the front yard.
b. Joined the Salvation Army, thereby renouncing his title, and annoying the neighbors with his all-night timbrel playing.
c. Just farted.
12. Our hopes and wishes for the future include
a. An uninterrupted night’s sleep.
b. World peace or a reasonable facsimile thereof.
c. Your continued friendship.
We hope you enjoy this holiday season with your family and friends. Merry Christmas and best wishes for the New Year!!!
Love,
~The Smith Family~
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