Grown Up At Last

Every Friday Zack brings home a paper with four to five questions. He has to write out the answers in complete sentences. I think the purpose of the exercise is to teach the kids to begin each sentence with a capital letter and end with a period.

Ok, scratch that. I just read at the bottom of the worksheet in teeny tiny letters 'Learning to Write Paragraphs'.

So I wasn't completely wrong.

I love reading his answers because it helps me to know my child a little better. 

This one is titled "Grown Up At Last". I've typed his answers exactly the way he wrote them.

Q: What do you want to be when you grow up?
A: I want to be a polic oficer when I grow up.

Q: Where do you want to work?
A: I will work at the shereiffs apartment.

Q: Where do you want to live?
A: I want to live in Atlanta.

Q: What is a bad thing about being grown up?
A: A bad thing about being grown up is geting people to hush.

Q: What the best thing about being grown up?
A: The best thing about being grown up is living in Atlanta.


Just last week he told me he wanted to play college football and be a football and baseball coach. You don't think his dad working for the 'shereiffs apartment' has anything to do with his current ambition?

As for 'geting people to hush' . . . . yeah, I guess that's a pretty tough part about being a grown-up. Especially when it's little people you're trying to get to hush. They usually don't listen very well. Not at my house anyway.

They say laughter is good for the soul . . .

If that's the case then my soul ought to be in pretty good shape today.

Too bad I can't say the same for my body. Oh, well . . . .

Anywho.

If your soul needs a workout, keep reading.


This morning Lauren insisted she was riding her tricycle to maw maw's house to have a sleepover.

Here's the rest of that conversation.

Matt: "Mom, do you have a bicycle?"

Me: "No, honey."

Matt: "Yes, you do. You have a purple one."

Me: "No, that's daddy's bike. It has been a very long time since mommy's had a bike."

Lauren: "You a crazy driver?"

(Hmmm . . . that might explain it.)


Just before that conversation happened, Lauren came out of her room dressed in her nightgown, socks, and one shoe on. Remember, she was planning to ride her tricycle to maw maw's house?

Ian: "Hey, Princess Abubu, I love your outfit."

Me: "But she's so stinkin' cute!"

Lauren: "Yeah, I am stinky."
(I was sure she was gonna say, "yeah, I am cute.")


Lauren wanted to hold Spike's leash on the way home from the vet.

He wasn't staying where she wanted him to, so she gave it to him straight . . . . "Get back here, you dumb@ss."

This isn't the first time she's said this, and I've had a (several) little talk with her about not saying that word.

Apparently I haven't gotten through. (Thanks, dad!)


Later on today . . . .

Lauren was using the potty. She always calls me or dad to help her get toilet paper. She wanted to clean herself, so I left her to take care of business on her own.

It wasn't long when she called me back to help her. It figures.

As I'm getting the tissue ready for wiping her bum, she looked down into the potty and said, "Mom, look. It's a poop clue."

Me: "It is? Ok, honey."

Lauren: "Are you gonna hide it?"

I spelled it wrong

Matt was playing with a light-up spinning top he earned as a prize for one of the school's fundraisers.

Most folks know these 'prizes' usually aren't very well made.

It was already partially broken before he stepped off the bus.

It was broken into two pieces with wires and batteries falling out before we made it home from maw maw's house.

And so Matt,  determined not to have to throw his new piece of crap favorite toy in the trash, set out to 'fix' it.

He had it working pretty well by supper time.

The next thing I heard coming from my sweet little, blond-haired, blue-eyed baby boy was, "What the hell . . . . "
 I'm guessing something wasn't going quite right with his toy.

This is the conversation that followed.

Me:  "Whooooaaaa! What did you say?"

Matt: "Nothing."

Me: "Did you say, 'what the hell'?"

Matt:  "Yes."

Me:  "Did you say hell or hail?" (We do live in the south, and he is my most country-fied sounding child. I had to make sure.)

Matt:  "Hell."

Me: "Don't say that, honey. That's not a good thing to say."

Matt:  "Then I said hail."

Me:  "That's not what I heard."

Matt:  "I meant to say hail, but I spelled it wrong."

The stuff sitcoms are made of

This was the conversation going on in the backseat of our van as we were on our way to Mobile yesterday evening.

Zack: "MATT, BE QUIET!"

Matt: "NO!"

Zack: "BE QUIET!!!"

Matt: "NO!"

Zack: "BE QUIET!!!"

Matt: "NO!!!"

Zack: "YES! BE QUIET! I'M OLDER THAN YOU SO YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME!"

Matt: "I CAN STILL PUNCH YOU!!!!"



You can't make this stuff up.

On the subject of going to Mobile . . . we made the mistake of going to watch Blacksher (our team) get their butts stomped on, wiped off, and stomped on again by Mobile Christian (the enemy). It was their homecoming.  

WHAT WERE WE THINKING??!!

We had to park across the street at a church because they were charging a parking fee. A PARKING FEE??!! For a high school football game? Geez, Louise!

So we parked across the street and walked at least a mile to get to the game.

Don't get me wrong. I seriously need the exercise. But you try crossing four lanes of traffic with three kids, 2 blankets, 3 jackets, 1 purse filled with 2 kids' supper because they didn't finish eating and were still hungry, and 2 bleacher cushions.

You'd think they'd have some street lights so drivers can see you. No. And we were all wearing purple, except Ian. He was wearing blue.


Just before we made it across, Matt's kids meal toy popped open and all of the little cards inside fell out onto the street.

Mom was not about to stop her big purple-wearing self in the middle of the street to pick up some cards.

Needless to say I had a very unhappy Matt on my hands for the rest of the hike to the main gate.

Zack was a sweetheart and gave Matt his cards.

We finally made it to the main gate, sweaty and out of breath. Please tell me why I bothered to fix my hair and put on make-up?

Anywho. Long story short. They charged us $24 to get into this game ($6 each), had port-a-potties with no toilet paper, and rickety wooden bleachers that weren't high enough to see over the cheerleaders to be able to watch the game. We ended up leaving right after half-time. What a waste of time and money. I don't think I'll be going to any more away games.

Funny moment: When we stopped for gas on the way home, I discovered I'd been sitting on french fries. I had a nice greasy butt stain when I took the kids in the store to use the restroom.

Week in Review

Started class again. Since my brain is too old to juggle two classes at one time, and life ran me over more than once during last semester, I dropped both of my classes and started over. I'm now taking just one class at a time. I decided to retake English 101 . . . .  the class I absolutely hated. What was I thinking? I'm a glutton for punishment. At the rate I'm going I might finish my degree by the time my youngest child is a senior.

Cleaned, cleaned, cleaned because the HIPPY lady(Ms. Cindy) was coming. She came, she left, and I didn't clean anymore for the rest of the week.

Ok, I might've cleaned a little bit on this day. That was about it.

Errand day. Bank, Walmart, bills, bills, bills, lunch, bills, Walmart again.

Football! Drove 2 hours to watch Blacksher(our team) get their butts stomped by Millry(the enemy). Ok, lets be real. I don't watch football. I went to watch my eldest son perform with the marching band. If football games were determined by how well the band did, then we beat them hands down.

*Highlights - Millry had more concessions than a county fair. Funnel cakes, snow cones, homemade pixie sticks, homemade fried pork skins, strawberry lemonade . . . I'll stop there.

*Funniest moment - Ian getting pulled over on the way home for his 'serious' driving. He was a little tired and was swerving more than we realized. We only had a couple more miles before we reached the gas station (we're in the boonies here) so I could take over driving. The nice officer let us go ahead and switch and we were on our merry way without a ticket. Thank goodness!

Grocery shopped with the whole family. That's right, all 6 of us. I don't do this often because I'm always reminded never to take them all to the store again. It wasn't too bad. I divided up the list and sent 2 kids with Ian and 2 came with me. We even bought groceries for the whole week for less than $100! That never happens. Woot! Later, we took Ian to work and #2, #3, and I went back to Walmart for haircuts. (Walmart is my 2nd home.) Mine took a little longer than I would have liked. When I was finally done, Matt said, "Mom, you took so long that my hair grew back in!" As a reward for being so good, I took them to McDonald's for supper . . . without Ian. I told you I was a glutton for punishment. (Actually, they did REALLY well. I was a proud mom.)

Is yet to be determined. I should be watching General Conference. I'm such a terrible example in that area. I'm a terrible example in a lot of areas, apparently. I need a shower. I need to clean. I need to eat breakfast. Oh, well, at least the kids and the animals have been fed and watered.

P.S. It's a beautiful Fall day!!! There's a lovely autumn breeze and a crispness in the air. I love it! Makes me wish I had some hot apple cider brewing on my stove.